Dam You Yeshesh Deshai

Dam You Yeshesh Deshai

I just want to thank you for your very short and meek apology after your return from the Mental Health facility.  You had said you were sorry for breaking my finger.  It isn’t like you just grabbed my hand and just broke my finger.  You grabbed my finger and bit it to the point you broke it straight through.  If I were not wearing leather Kevlar lined gloves you would have bitten it clear off.

If you only could understand what else you had done to me on that day.  I made a simple decision to help you.  It is the same decision that I would make today.  You were living in conditions that I wouldn’t wish any of my family would be asked to live in.  If at the time I made the decision to move you from one cell to another in order for you to live in conditions of cleanliness.  And you truly were without mind to know what was right and wrong at that time.   I forgive you for what you did.  My intentions were to make your time of incarceration the best they could be.

What confuses me the most is that you were able to seek me out and apologize?  This shows me you knew what you did was wrong.  But, did you really know what it was that you did?  Did you know what it was we were doing for you at the time we asked you to move cells?  Most of all what was it that motivated you to apologize?

That day in that jail cell has changed me forever.  It has changed my life in ways I may never be able to describe to others.  I receive Botox injections in the muscles of my left hand and forearm every 90 days in order to stop it from shaking.  I have permanent nerve damage to my left hand.  I am no longer able to do many simple tasks that at one time I never thought were hard to do.  Something as simple as tying my son’s hockey skates.  I don’t have the strength in my left hand to accomplish that.  All because I didn’t feel it was proper for you to sit in your own waste.

I plan to write you a letter every 90 days.  I invite you to write me as often as you wish.  Because I know there is another day you wish never had happened.   This is just the beginning of a chain of events we both may never understand.  However, neither of us will ever be able to look around the next corner and understand what it was you were thinking that day.

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